December 30, 2016 -- I actually rented this movie from Redbox for about $1.50 on the strength of positive reviews, but felt ripped off after I saw it. Hated it. I kept yelling at the screen about the stupidity of the whole thing, but at least it is original.

The story is about a society where adults are not allowed to be single. They must marry or be turned into animals, like dogs, camels, horses, etc. David (played by Colin Farrell of “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them”) is divorced by his wife and is forced to stay in a government facility for single adults. The film starts out with a woman shooting an animal, which perhaps was formerly a person she hated. Once you are changed into an animal, you cease to have any rights.

The strict rules in this government love hotel are, no masturbation, everybody has to join in the daily hunt for loners in the woods, you have to find a mate in 45 days, or be turned into an animal of your choice. It is not enough just to find a mate, either, you have to find someone who is nearly identical. Example, a lisper seeks another lisper, a limper seeks another limper, a woman who gets frequent nosebleeds, seeks a man who also gets nosebleeds. With only about 200 randomly selected people to choose from, the odds against true romance in this place under these rules are a million to one.

As you might expect, there is a lot of cheating in this system. People pretend to be compatible with each other in order to avoid being turned into beasts. Fake romances abound, like the guy who hits himself to get nosebleeds in order to woo a pretty woman who often gets nosebleeds.

David (who chooses to be a lobster if he can't find a mate) pretends to have no feelings in order to woo a woman who has no feelings. This almost works because just about everybody in this government hotel acts like they've been lobotomized most of the time anyway. His ruse doesn't work, though, and in defiance, David escapes to the woods to be with the loners.

Life in the woods is no better, though, because the rebels in the woods are lorded over by a sociopathic dictator played by Léa Seydoux (“Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol”) who doesn't allow any romance or sex among the loners. Not only that, but she delights in making commando raids to break up couples at the government hotel complex.

Despite the rules, David falls deeply in love with a woman (played by Rachel Weisz of “Oz the Great and Powerful”) who, like himself is short-sighted loner (Even the loners are still playing by the same stupid rules when it comes to romance). The cruel leader of the loners tries to put an end to this romance by any means necessary.

The absurdity of both the larger society, and the society of the loners is played straight to the hilt for laughs in this extremely dark comedy (where even mutilation and suicide are played for laughs). There is no attempt at all to make any kind of sense of these absurd societies in this all out satire which delights in skewering romantic clichés.

Parts of this film are funny, but I really did not care for the humor of most of it. Some critics say this film satirizes modern romance, like computer dating, maybe some see the parallel, but I see fundamental differences between the two. The presentation seemed a lot more sad than funny.

The movie certainly satirizes the kind of mindless conformity seen in the 1950s, and to a lesser extent in the 1980s in America. However, this particular conformity is light years beyond that. The film is also an extreme example of what happens to loners in society, such as homeless people.

The only way I can see how a society could enforce this kind of extreme conformity is in a religion-controlled state. There are societies where marriage is a requirement (men are almost always exempt from the requirement, though) and of course there are societies where marriages are arranged by families. There have always been rebellions against such arrangements, and there are numerous stories, like this one, of tragic consequences for those rebels.

The one true romance in the movie shows us that the power of love is a stronger force than the societal glue that holds the loners together. It is also more powerful than the loner leader's power, or the muscle behind her. These romantics finally break free from their bonds, in a way, but writer-director Yorgos Lanthimos and writer Efthymis Filippou just had to insist on having the last, unfunny laugh at my expense. Really? Love is blind? Give me a break!

This movie is like science fiction, except that in it, human nature is altered in some fundamental ways. If you are a romantic like me, you might find this painful to watch, but cynics might love it. I really hated this movie. This film rates a D.

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